Lucy Wade's Fight Song: A Mega Voice Against Abuse

Written By Adam Carter

Author: Louise Baxter - Three minute read

Meet Lucy Wade from You Don’t Own Me – Championing Against Domestic Abuse and Consumer Vulnerability

This week’s podcast features Lucy Wade from You Don’t Own Me (YDOM). This for me is what we are calling a rogue podcast, slightly out of the consumer lane, but vital to be educated on. Lucy and I have become firm friends since we met after we did some work together on scams, fraud and coercive control. She is one of the most amazing women I have ever met, one of the greatest advocates for women and children (we All need to be more Lucy Wade!) and I am so very grateful for her time, energy, friendship and for her coming on the Consumer Friend podcast. This podcast launch is timed nicely with Octobers Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM), a time dedicated to raising awareness about domestic abuse, supporting survivors, and pushing for change. This originated in 1987 and has since been a platform for various organisations and communities to spotlight the impact of domestic violence and mobilise efforts for prevention and support.

1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence in their lifetimes. Discussions on different forms of abuse—emotional, psychological, financial, and physical—are also crucial.  We need to talk about this subject more, share the knowledge, have the difficult conversations and bring the dark into the light.

At Consumer Friend, we’re excited to introduce a remarkable new collaboration. We’re partnering with Lucy Wade from You Don’t Own Me to roll out Make a Difference Mondays (MAD Mondays), a series of empowering training sessions.

Who is Lucy Wade?

Lucy Wade is an extraordinary advocate and educator, dedicated to supporting individuals who have experienced domestic abuse. Through her organisation, You Don’t Own Me (YDOM), Lucy offers compassionate, insightful, and accessible information, via her Dip In With Lucy podcast, blog posts and training on domestic abuse, post separation abuse, all which aim to help survivors reclaim their lives and navigate the complexities of coercive control and victim-blaming.

Lucy’s work is is a game changer because she removes the stigma, shame, and self-blame that so many survivors struggle with. She makes the complexities of abuse and abusive behaviours  easy to understand, giving people and organisations the tools to recognise abuse and give people the confidence to move forward with the right support.

Domestic Abuse and Fraud: The Overlapping Web of Coercive Control and Victim-Blaming

One of the striking aspects of Lucy’s training is how she draws parallels between the tactics used in domestic abuse and those used in fraud and scams. Coercive control in abusive relationships often involves manipulation, isolation, and psychological tactics to dominate and control the victim. Similarly, fraudsters use deception and manipulation to exploit and defraud their victims, often leaving them feeling isolated, ashamed, and to blame for what has happened.

In both cases, the perpetrators seek to undermine their victims’ confidence making them feel trapped and powerless. Whether it’s a controlling partner or a scam artist, the tactics are disturbingly similar: exploit trust, isolate the victim, and then blame them for the consequences.

We delve into all of this in the podcast, we believe that by understanding these dynamics, we can better support those who are vulnerable—not just in cases of domestic abuse but also in situations involving fraud, scams, and other forms of consumer exploitation.

Introducing Make a Difference Mondays (MAD Mondays)

We are thrilled to announce Make a Difference Mondays, a new initiative that will offer specialised training and support to consumers and professionals alike. With Lucy Wade leading the charge, these sessions will cover a range of vital topics, including:

  • Domestic Abuse Awareness: Recognising the signs of coercive control and supporting those affected.

  • Consumer Vulnerability: Understanding the impact of vulnerability on consumer rights and how to assist individuals in achieving better outcomes.

  • Effective Communication and Redress: Learning how to communicate effectively, and make it far easier for consumers to seek redress, seeing complaints and feedback as a MUST.

  • Understanding Consumer Rights: Giving consumers and businesses alike the knowledge about their rights and how to enforce them.

  • Consumer Friend Charter and Academy Launch: Introducing the Consumer Friend Charter and the Consumer Friend Academy, which will train individuals to become Consumer Vulnerability Champions, equipped to advocate for and support vulnerable consumers in their organisations.

These sessions will not only raise awareness but also equip participants with the tools and knowledge to help themselves and others, making a tangible difference in people’s lives.

On Monday, 21st October 2024, from 12:05 to 13:00, we’re hosting a special session from the Let’s Talk Training Series, designed to help organisations understand the complex challenges faced by those experiencing domestic abuse and post-separation abuse. Lucy, a specialist in post-separation abuse, has created this incredible series to get people talking about these difficult topics in a way that feels comfortable, open, and pressure-free.

For more information and to book tickets, click here

Why This Matters 

Our partnership with Lucy Wade is about more than just training; it’s about changing narratives and removing the blame and shame that so often accompany experiences of abuse and vulnerability. Together, we will create a supportive environment where people feel understood, confident, and ready to take back control of their lives.

At Consumer Friend, we’re committed to helping everyone navigate the often confusing world of consumer rights and vulnerability. Make a Difference Mondays will be a powerful step towards achieving our vision of a world where everyone has the knowledge and support, they need to thrive.

Stay tuned for more details on how you can participate in Make a Difference Mondays. Together, we can make a real difference!




But for now, get your purple ribbons out, show solidarity for all victims/survivors of domestic abuse whatever the flavour as together we are stronger

 

#LucyWade

#DVAM2024

Podcast Title: Consumer Friend Podcast – Understanding Domestic Abuse

Episode Title: Championing Survivors with Lucy Wade from You Don't Own Me

Release Date: 14 Oct 24

Host(s):

  • Adam Carter

  • Louise Baxter MBE (LouBax)

Guest(s):

  • Lucy Wade – Founder of You Don't Own Me (YDOM), a platform for raising awareness of domestic abuse and offering resources and support to survivors.

Episode Summary:

In this powerful episode of the Consumer Friend Podcast, Adam and Louise are joined by Lucy Wade, the founder of You Don't Own Me (YDOM), a platform dedicated to raising awareness around domestic abuse, particularly focusing on post-separation abuse and coercive control. Lucy shares her vast experience working with survivors of abuse, both through her personal advocacy and professional efforts. She talks about the complexities of domestic abuse and how it extends beyond physical violence to emotional, psychological, and financial control.

Lucy’s mission with YDOM is to create a safe, inclusive space where survivors can seek support, understand their experiences, and find the strength to move forward. She also hosts a podcast, "Dip in and Out with Lucy," where she discusses these issues in depth with professionals and survivors alike, creating a much-needed conversation around the topic of domestic abuse.

Key Takeaways:

  1. Domestic Abuse Statistics: In England and Wales, one in four women will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime, and police receive a domestic abuse-related call every 30 seconds, yet underreporting remains a huge issue.

  2. Post-Separation Abuse: Domestic abuse doesn’t always end when a relationship does. Post-separation abuse, especially coercive control, is a significant and often overlooked aspect of abusive relationships.

  3. Empowering Survivors: Lucy’s work emphasizes the importance of empowering survivors, helping them rebuild their confidence and regain control of their lives.

  4. Supporting Survivors: Friends and family play a critical role in offering non-judgmental support to those who may be experiencing abuse.

  5. Raising Awareness: Platforms like YDOM and Lucy’s podcast aim to break down the barriers of shame and blame, encouraging open conversations about domestic abuse in society.

Notable Quotes:

·       Adam Carter: “The police receive a domestic abuse-related call every 30 seconds, yet less than 24% of these crimes are reported. That’s a shocking statistic. Lucy, can you tell us about the complexities of why it’s so underreported?”

·       Lucy Wade: “It’s fantastic that we have all these resources, but it doesn’t go away after six weeks. Abuse is something that stays with you for life, even after you leave the relationship. It’s something survivors have to learn to manage every day.”

·       LouBax: “It’s not just physical abuse; it's the coercive control and emotional abuse that people don’t often recognize as abuse. It’s that insidious control that undermines everything, isn’t it?”

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Resources & Links:

Timestamps:

  • [00:00] – Introduction: Adam and Louise introduce today’s topic and guest.

  • [01:00] – Lucy Wade’s background and the founding of You Don’t Own Me.

  • [04:00] – Shocking domestic abuse statistics and why the issue is so underreported.

  • [08:30] – Post-separation abuse and how it affects survivors long-term.

  • [12:00] – Emotional and psychological aspects of abuse, and how they differ from physical violence.

  • [17:00] – The importance of friends and family in supporting survivors.

  • [23:00] – Practical advice for anyone experiencing domestic abuse or for those who suspect a loved one might be in an abusive relationship.

  • [30:00] – Lucy’s work with YDOM, the resources available, and how survivors can start their journey to recovery.

Follow Us:

This episode is a crucial resource for anyone seeking to understand the many forms domestic abuse can take, how to support loved ones, and how survivors can begin to rebuild their lives.

Adam Carter
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Fraud Protection Boost: What You Need to Know About New Refund Rules from October 7th